LMAO
by Frankee92
Summary: Sequel to LOL, although it is not necessary to read that one first. Comedy One-shot of when Jacob tells Bella that he is a Werewolf. OOC.


***Disclaimer* - Sadly I dont own twilight, but luckily this website allows me to write stories and pretend that i do. Even if it is only for a little while.**

**Sequel to LOL. I hope it makes you laugh as much as it did for me when I was writing it.**

**Big thank you to Thats-So-Alex for Beta'ing. :D**

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The grizzly bear woke up in my truck as I turned the key in the ignition. I backed out of the space and nearly crashed into a car that was coming down the road.

"Whoops!" I said, waving my hand at the other driver to apologise.

Checking that the road was clear, I backed fully out and headed off down the road.

It was raining. Again. The wipers on my truck were scooting back and forth across the windscreen like loons. I shivered with the cold, and wished that there was heating in the truck. If I was sensible I would take up Edward's offer of a new car, which would have heating and wouldn't sound like an angry bear, but every time he offered I refused. Mainly because I felt a sense of loyalty to my truck. It was almost my best friend and I couldn't bear to get rid of it. I wouldn't let Edward near it for fear of him murdering it. I loved my truck, even if it was old.

I pulled into the parking lot at school and managed to find a space pretty easily. By the time I had turned off the engine, Edward was at the door, holding it open for me.

"Hey." I said, as I climbed out, shivering from the cold.

"Hi." He replied. "Did you have fun driving here in the monster?" That was the nickname he had given my truck.

I just glared at him and headed towards the entrance of school.

"I had a nice WARM ride to school. You know, with HEATING." He whispered in my ear.

"Oh go home!" I said to him slightly angrily. "Why do you always pick on my truck? What did it ever do to you? It has feelings you know!"

Edward just laughed, making me shiver again, but this time, not with cold.

We went through the doors and I shook my hood off. "Ugh I HATE rain!" I complained.

Laughing, Edward pulled me close and looked into my eyes. He bent his head closer to mine and his lips parted slightly. Mine automatically pouted, ready for a kiss, but they didn't get their wish. Edward's head came within a few centimetres of mine, when he said "Have fun in math." and walked away laughing.

"Bastard." I muttered knowing that he would hear. I headed to the torture that was my worst subject.

As I walked into the room, I felt like some sort of creepy music should be playing. Like the theme tune of Jaws or something. That was how bad it was. I headed to my seat and promptly tripped over a chair leg.

"Damn chairs! I swear they're trying to kill me!" I cried rubbing my knee.

Mike hurried over to me and offered a hand. Grabbing it, I pulled myself up, and brushed myself down.

"Some days I wish I could stay at home." I said.

Mike laughed. "But then who would entertain us Bella?" He asked innocently.

"Stop picking on me!" I said glaring at him.

I sat down at my desk and prepared for the torture to begin.

English was better. We were studying Wuthering Heights, my favourite book, so I was engrossed in the lesson. Midway through Jess turned to me and muttered "Am I the only one who thinks Heathcliff is a little bit hot?" She asked.

I gave her a strange look. "He's a mental, bad character in a book. How do you think he's hot?"

"He just _sounds_ hot!" She replied. I shook my head and saw the teacher giving us death glares so I nudged Jess and looked up, smiling innocently.

My next lesson passed in a bur, and then it was lunch time. I walked to the cafeteria with a bunch of my friends, and we all queued up to get some food. It was so noisy in there; it was like feeding time at the zoo. But I was used to it. I headed to a table with my friends, and the suddenly Edward was in front of me.

"Oh my god Edward! You scared the life out of me!" I squealed, my voice going really high pitched.

"I think only dog's heard you then!" He laughed.

We walked to where all our friends were seated and sat at the end of the table.

"Yo Bella!" Mike called down the table. "What's your favourite movie quote?" He asked.

I though for a couple of seconds. "Tick Tick Boom!" I replied.

"Huh?"

"You know. From G-Force…" I explained.

They all looked at me as if I had grown an extra head.

"What?" I asked. "It's an epic film! Don't diss!"

"Nice Bella. Just nice." Mike said.

"Whatever!" I replied sarcastically, and carried on eating my lunch.

After lunch we all had Biology, and I got to sit next to Edward as usual. Strangely, I never paid much attention to what was said in those classes. Luckily I had Edward to tell me. I got asked a question by the teacher, and I had to rely on Edward to whisper the answer in my ear, because I was too busy admiring his ears. He had such pretty ears. I was jealous. I wanted his ears. Okay, even _I _don't want Edward Cullen's ears...That was a bit weird, even for my standards.

The rest of the day flew by without anything very interesting happening. I just about got through gym, without hurting myself much. I managed to hit myself in the face with the ball but that was about it. I was glad when the day was over.

I headed towards my truck and noticed a pair of footsteps join my own. I walked a little faster thinking that someone was stalking me or something before I looked around and saw that it was Edward.

"Oh. It's you! I thought it was some weirdo or something!" I giggled. We stopped by my truck, and he pulled me close. He bent his head and this time his lips pressed against mine. I felt myself go weak and it was only his arms that held me up. He pulled away and I looked up into his eyes.

"I love you Bella." He said quietly.

"I love you too, Edward." I replied. It was about the only thing I could get my brain to say, because he always made it turn to goo. I was sure that one day it would just trickle right out of my head.

"I'll be round at about seven okay." He said. All I could do was nod.

He kissed me once more and then turned and headed towards his own car.

I clambered into my truck and drove home.

It was still raining so I ran from the truck to the door, and skidded to a halt outside. I fumbled for my key and went in. Charlie wasn't home yet so, I rummaged in the cupboards for a snack before heading upstairs to start on my homework. I stared at the cupboards for a few seconds before heading to the fridge. Finding nothing in there, I went back to the cupboard hoping that magically, something had materialised in the past ten seconds. Sadly, It hadn't so I headed off to start on the dreaded homework.

_Ding-dong…_

The doorbell rang out through the house, and I had to stop working to go answer the door to whoever had decided to save me from the horror of maths homework.

I ran down the stair and tripped over at the bottom. I fell backwards onto my butt and sat shocked for a couple of seconds.

_Ding-dong…_

Well whoever it was was very impatient.

"Okay! Hold your horses! I'm coming!" I yelled as I got up and limped to the door.

Opening it, a massive smile spread across my face like a bad coldsore.

"Jake!" I lunged forward and threw my arms around my best friend. "I haven't seen you aaaaaaaaages!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah sorry about that." He replied, rather grumpily.

I noticed his bad mood and decided to try and cheer him up.

"Whassup Mr. grumpy gills?" I said in a deep voice, making myself laugh.

A vague smile flickered across his lips, before he said "Can I come in?"

"Sure. Why not? I was only doing math anyway, and you know how bad I am at that!"

I stepped aside to let him in and followed him down the hall. He walked into the sitting room and sat on the couch.

"Dude! Take up the whole couch why don't you? Budge up so I can sit." I said. Obediently, he moved over and I sat down. We sat in silence for a few moments, before I looked over at him and saw that he was watching me.

"Soooo…. What spurred this visit on?" I asked, studying his face.

"Bella… I have something to tell you…" he began

"OMG!" I interrupted. "You're a unicorn aren't you?" I started giggling uncontrollably, and Jacob just glared at me. "Ooh. Tough crowd!" I said.

"Bella, seriously. I really do have something to tell you." He repeated, and he grabbed my arms to make me look at him.

"Jacob, why are you so hot?" I asked innocently.

"Well…" he said. He smirked at me and I blushed.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I exclaimed. I pulled out of his grip and stood up. "I only meant you're really warm. Seriously, you're like a human hot water bottle or something!" I turned to face him and I saw the look on his face. "Ooh you are annoying." I said quietly. "What did you wanna tell me?" I gave him an enquiring look.

"Okay…well…" He stumbled over his words.

"Oh come on Jake! It can't be that bad! Its not as if you microwave cats or something is it?" I said walking towards him. This time I grabbed his arms. "Jake. You can tell me."

"Well Bella, I'm a werewolf." He muttered the last word so I didn't hear him properly.

"You play golf? Well that isn't so bad. I bit of a strange thing to be doing at your age but nothing to be scared of. I mean even if it is only old men that play it…" I stopped my ramble when I saw his face.

"Not golf. I'm a werewolf. You know. Transform into a wolf." Jake said trying not to laugh at my rant.

"Werewolf?" I said questioningly.

"Yeah, you know. Big, hairy, usually growl. Awoooo and all that." He looked at me like I was rather stupid.

"I know what a bloody werewolf is you… you… arrrggghhh!" I stomped off into the kitchen and stood staring down into the sink.

"Anything interesting in there?" Jake walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table and I turned to glare at him. "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk to you like a five year old." He gave me the puppy dog look and I softened.

"Okay. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap like that." I walked over to the table and sat next to him. We looked at each other and I started to giggle.

"What?" Jake asked. "What is so funny? I told you something really serious and you just laugh in my face!" He looked slightly hurt.

"No no. It's not really funny, it's just… well…" I started laughing and nearly fell off my chair.

"Seriously. Isabella Marie Swan, If you don't stop laughing and tell me what is funny, I am gonna go all angry on your ass!" That stopped me from laughing straight away.

"What did you full name me for? Sorry for having a sense of humour. God!" I looked away from him and huffed loudly.

"Bella…"

"What?!?" I looked back at him and started to laugh again. His face was so serious that I just couldn't help myself.

"What now?" He asked.

"Ohh…. My face hurts." I giggled.

"Well your face makes my face hurt!" He responded.

"Jake! That was mean! Im so gonna get you now!" I stood up a second later than him and ran down the hallway after him.

"Come and get me Bella. I could take you down in one second." He teased.

"Ohh. I am so gonna get you, you annoying little BADGER!"

"Noo. I'm a _werewolf. _WERE-WOLF!" He teased again.

"Grrrrrrr!" I growled at him.

I went to hit him, but he grabbed my arms and pulled me into a hug.

"Aww. Bella. I know you love me really." He said laughing, and I gave up struggling. I looked up at him and saw how tall he had got. It was scary.

"So Jake. Explain the werewolf thing. Do you have any special powers? Can you fly? Ooh! Can you become invisible?" I asked getting carried away with myself.

"Bella. Don't be ridiculous." He replied, laughing slightly. We sat down at the kitchen table and he went on to explain everything.

"Wow. So apart from being able to read each other's minds, it's pretty boring really." I said, watching his face for a reaction. "Unicorns are way cooler. They fart glitter."

He looked at me like I was stupid.

"Wha-at?" I complained, once again. "Why are there never any unicorns? I've got Vampires and Werewolves, but never Unicorns. I want a unicorn!" I said, pouting.

"Would you like me to stick a horn on my head and prance around the room for you?" Jake replied sarcastically.

"Yes. Yes I would. I'll go get the paper."

**A/N: If this made you laugh, please leave me a review and tell me how much. :D **


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